Words have meanings. I don’t think anyone will argue with this and even if they did they’d have to concede that without meaning words are pretty damned useless. A rose by any other name is still a rose, unless you’re from a planet where roses don’t exist in which case you’d probably rename it fribble-trib and become agitated when noone else knew what you were talking about.
So when it comes to words like “Hellenist” and “Hellenismos” or even “Hellenic Polytheist”, there are certain expectations surrounding what these words come to signify when applied to a particular individual. And, here lately, the label of Hellenic Polytheist while once entirely accurate no longer represents my religion and spirituality. Dionysos still presides over my home and heart, but he has become an all encompassing force in his own right and my very new relationship with The Morning Star has taken up whatever cinders are left behind.
This isn’t to say that I do not revere and respect the rest of my pantheon but it’s almost like having a very loud car radio that slowly becomes less clear as you drive farther from the city. I’ve tripped the light fantastic into realms of chaos and physical magic, into evocation and experimentation within a tangled skein of paradigms and as terrifying as some of these changes have been (and continue to be at times) the deities and energies that surround me have changed to the point that I no longer feel comfortable labelling myself as a Hellenic anything-at-all.
Once led to the mountains, I followed down into Thrace and right when I thought I was settled at “home”, I travelled further north among lands and people I never knew nor ever had a reason to know. And I was passed, back and forth, like a spliff of the good shit between friends. I’m on another journey, one tour guide familiar and the other not-so-much. Different road signs and intentions.
I feel sheepish sharing this here because I’m still ridiculously uncomfortable with my own UPG despite working on it with the help of fellows-in-faith who are understanding but graduated from similar schools of hard-knocks.
So for now, I’ll set my old label aside and follow where I am led. Maybe I’ll end up with another concrete way to define myself (I have a strange feeling I’m being “asked” to release this need) or maybe I’ll turn up on some shore completely frost bitten and confused but all the better for it.
Well they know, but I have a feeling I’m not being given any hints any time soon.