There’s something candidly cold about being in love with money. It’s a very easy ledge to get to. You start making a little more cash and your options open up. You start seeing people and activities as “opportunity costs” as opposed to experiences and fellow human beings. Each action has a dollar figure attached to it. Each movement and thought focused singly on one goal; the accumulation of wealth. Duckets. Dollars. Benjamins. C-Notes. Dough.
So many words.
I would have to say that I’m a pretty shitty Hellenist. Sometimes I forget to pray, practice, or live in moderation. Sometimes I take the gods for granted, as if they’ll always be there when I “get around to it.”
But my biggest failure, here lately, has been greed. Pure and simple.
I have a friend who has asked me to help her set up a budget that includes debt elimination and a solid savings plan. When I look at her I see two things:
1.Someone who is financially ignorant. (And that’s not a bad thing, we’re all ig’nant about something or another.)
2. A fucking sucker.
The prior is a reason to help. The latter is that voice in my head that tells me her continued use of credit cards and over-consumption is what keeps my dividends coming in every quarter. Every piece of jewelry, every mile she drives to and from the mall, every cotton and rayon dress she will only wear once, drives her deeper into debt while buoying my ability to turn a profit. Eat me. Drink me.
Greed is being willing to eat someone else even when you aren’t hungry. Even if you know better. Even if that person is someone you love.
And it’s sitting inside of me now; brewing, coiling in the pit of my stomach to the point that I have taken to avoiding my normal investing/finance blogs so I can get back to some form of equilibrium.
So what do you do when your conscience says “no” but your mind and society says “yes?”
I guess I’ll pray and get back to basics.