So I figured, while I was making myself unpopular, I might as well go all the way and tackle something I’ve witnessed that really bothers me. Before I get into this, I will say that I do not think all cultural/religious practices are ‘right.’ I find some, like FGM, to be nothing short of heinous and barbaric. While I am glad to not live in a society where this is practiced I do hope that one day young women who face this kind of pressure are, eventually, relieved of it enough to make an educated decision when it comes to body modification rituals (Which I am not against).

But there comes a point where pagans become so high-minded, and full of ourselves, that we not only believe we practice an indigenous faith with more authentic reverence than the indigenous people who have practiced for thousands of years but that we can, somehow, enlighten them while being patronizingly disrespectful of their heritage and traditions and demanding they model themselves after our Western sensibilities.

The first time I encountered this was during a conversation with a young woman about cicatrization or ritual scarring. She not only railed against the practice as cruel (despite there being a few people in our diverse area she could have spoken to and from whom she could have learned the cultural or religious significance.) but she then went on to state that real pagans would never do such a thing since we believe in the law of “An it harm none.”

I’m going to leave the assumption that everyone follows the Wiccan Rede alone and focus on the core issue; this young woman believed her Western pagan worldview should apply to everyone who falls under the pagan umbrella. Whether they recognized themselves as pagan or not.

This included cultures, and people,  she had never bothered to speak to or with. To see an eclectic polytheist voice how they are more in tune to the wills of a Hindu god/dess than the adherents that have followed the purest version of the pantheons’ religion for thousands of years is not only snort worthy, but insulting to the people who have actively participated out of religious fervor and devotion for generations.

It seems when some pagans encounter someone who is a bit more conservative than they are, or who isn’t nature worshiping, or who believes that animals are sacred enough for sacrifice, or who participate in flagellation,  it’s no longer about acceptance or even tolerance.

That well meaning concern, that hipster/hippie mindset mixed with the residual fumes of movements that mainly excluded oppressed cultures (yes Feminism and Paganism I am looking at you) creates the same moldy, snotty, attitude that pushes many potentially great minds into the shadows; like the 14 year old I know who could probably give Epictetus a run for his money or the pagans, and occultists, I’ve come into contact with who have so much to offer but not enough honey for the flies hoping to stick them in a box.

I saw this the most in the response of a former classmate who explained why hijab made her feel safe and more respected here in the U.S. and I got to experience it myself when I wore it for a week. It wasn’t until I walked a few tiny steps in her shoes, asked some questions, and bared my own ignorance that I was able to learn from her. I had to look like a fool, like an ignorant American, but in the end I gained a better understanding of not only her culture, religious views, and even some of the logic behind it, but also learned that I enjoy a good bit of modesty myself.

But how far would I have gotten had I simply attempted to explain to her how she didn’t have to do that anymore because she’s in America? How enlightened would I look attempting to make an African woman understand how the beautiful facial scars she wears with pride are something to be ashamed of because I think they were inflicted inhumanely? And what difference would it make anyway? What would I have learned?

Better yet, what would I have missed out on learning?

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