The Beauty of Mistakes

I think it can be said, rather fairly, that we live in a society that downplays the human capability for making mistakes. Take a look at the American political system and this becomes obvious. In order to be a succesful politician there needs to be an appearance of near perfection. No flubs, no fuck ups, no slips of the tongue (both figuratively and literally) and most importantly, no changing your mind.

 “Flip-flopping” is considered to be just as much a crime as going to the wrong church or having the wrong friends. Admitting that one is wrong or may have acted poorly is not considered an admirable quality. Despite what many hoped for during the Barak Obama presidency, the words “I was mistaken” are three we have not heard,and probably never will hear, during his time as POTUS.

 Mistakes are a sign of weakness. Making mistakes and then admitting to them are a sign of weakness and stupidity. What does this have to do with spirituality? Everything. Spiritual growth, and evolution, is often riddled with mistakes and missteps not so much in ideology but in practical application. When the edict of one’s faith is forgiveness and when offered the chance to forgive the individual, instead, tells the other to piss off, that is a mistake.

 Never mind hurt feelings suggesting otherwise.

 Further more when a blog writer, who shall remain nameless (but whose name rhymes with Tricole Machelle) blunders on the practical application of wisdom it is best for that blog writer to self-evaluate and then write about what her thoughts were on the matter.

 For those who may not know, I am very short on patience. I have some; for children, n00bs, or people under the age of 25, but after that it wears very thin, very fast; especially when it comes to information or research. As much as I like to be told when I screwed the pooch on something or when I’m flat out wrong, I selfishly believe that everyone else should be the same way even if they are not.

Knowledge is knowing someone is wrong, wisdom is knowing how, when, or even if this should be pointed out. I, dear reader, am not too good with this concept.

This isn’t to say that I will completely change who I am and become some woo-woo Priestess of High Delusion, but I will start to think about how I’m phrasing my thoughts to other, especially since my rather blunt approach can create enemies where there doesn’t need to be any.

As much as I like having enemies (Make your haters your motivators- Katt Williams) having too many for no reason can get tiresome.

The beauty in being called out, by Aristotle no less, is after the initial shame wears off the process of change can begin. Admitting this out loud forces me to bring my lack of wisdom to the forefront. It’s humbling and freeing at the same time. Just like everyone, I can make mistakes and lots of them, but it’s what I choose to do afterward that makes all the difference.

Book Review: The Ancient Guide to Modern Life

It’s been awhile. Okay, maybe about two weeks. But in the blogging world that seems like forever. Between the holidays, being sick
as a dog, and my own religious/occult studies; writing was the farthest thing from my mind. But, I still did a lot of reading and today’s
post is a review of one of my latest acquisitions; The Ancient Guide to Modern Life by Natalie Haynes.

It takes a certain amount of talent to the make the classics, and the philosophers therein, exciting to most readers.
While Marcus Aurelius, Lucretius, Plato, and Epicurus are considered great thinkers among men their actual words can come across as
a little dry. Okay…maybe a lot dry. Dry like overcooked 2 day old turkey breast dry. Alright I’m done now, I promise.

Ms. Haynes flips this model on its head and brings us the philosophies and lessons of antiquity with a fresh spin to fit our modern lives. How interesting to find how parents, and religious leaders, railing against the indoctrination and “corruption” of our youth by our public school system are nothing new. Luckily, these days, teachers have the protection of the state and federal governments unlike dear Socrates who perished for “corrupting” the Athenian youth and encouraging “impiety.”

The casual brutality of the Roman empire is compared to our current humanist near-worship of human life. Life in prison, and even death by lethal injection, seems humane compared to being scourged, tied into a sack with a rooster, a snake, a monkey, and a dog and thrown into the Tiber. We enjoy football instead of the gladiator ring; though some think the latter sport could make one hell of a come back.

But beyond contrasting the obvious differences between antiquity and the here and now, Haynes shows the similarities between us; the left
over wine from a long-established, and esteemed, philosophical banquet. The Hellenic Greeks performed, and perfected satire. Then, as now, political careers could be made, and broken, by a talented comedian’s turn of phrase.

From sex and marriage, to the subjects of death and religion Haynes fleshes out the history behind some of the greatest myths and legends, while making it easy for the 21st century reader to see just how pertinent these stories are to us today. Whether you love the classics or are looking for a fun, before bed, read The Ancient Guide to Modern Life is worth every minute spent.

Lykeia of Apollon reminds Hellenists of the importance of worshiping all of the Olympians and not just the “patrons” to whom we feel attached. It is very easy to forget this, especially since so many writings within the pagan community tend to focus on “working” with gods (instead of worshiping them) and, as Lykeia points out, the prevalence of monotheistic religion causes some pagans to bring the same hierarchical structure to polytheistic religions with many focusing on only one (or 3) god(s) out of an entire pantheon of interconnected, and relevant, deities.

The Latrines at Minturno make me thankful for even the gamiest college-dorm bathroom.

My excitement grows at the prospect of getting to know, and potentially worship with, Leonidas: Lion of Krete. He has done amazing work with local Hellenists and I can’t wait to pick his brain. I may, or may not have, pressured him into starting a blog.

And, finally, Star Foster touches on the topic of demographics within the pagan community and what that means when it comes to defining paganism. Who is, and isn’t, pagan? This was in response to an earlier post by Cara Schulz.

What I’ve Been Reading…

Right now I’m putting together a book review and it is taking me a little longer than I would like. Fortunately for you guys (No! Don’t leave yet!) I’ve been all over the internet reading new blogs, some older content, and subscribing to everyone’s delicious thought feeds. I’ll share it with you as, sometimes, one needs to take the Andy Warhol approach; do fuck all and still come out seeming brilliant.

This is where I point out someone doing it wrong. I love science and have since I was a little girl. It really irks me when pagan authors attempt to manipulate theories that are a)not fully explained and b)not completely proven in the first place. The Secret did this and I was the listener who sent a letter to Deo’s Shadow asking them to watch, and review, the woo-woo crap fest Oprah made popular.

Say it with me guys: Quantum Mechanics is not magic. Quantum Mechanics is not  magic. Quantum Mechanics is not magic. 

I can enjoy and find fascination with a lot of things, but nobody woo-woos science and gets away with it. Seriously, the article would have been much better had she left out the quantum realm all together.

I read a few translations of Tibullus the Farmer on this page and each was just as beautiful as the last, if that’s even possible. Rogue Classicism always delivers tasty historical tidbits to my inbox. It’s like waking up to candies covered in edible diamonds.

Come hell or high water I will force SOMEONE to read Iamblichus with me.

Heliogenna is fast approaching and I’ve just moved my altar, again, for the time being. I could be wrong, but  HellenicGods.org says Heliogenna is an “ancient festival” when I am fairly certain Hector Lugo is the father of this tradition and he’s nowhere close to ancient. In fact, he’s still alive and can be found arguing politics with Todd Jackson every once in awhile.

And to wrap up, Lykeia posted the second part of her series on Artemis as nurturing huntress. These are heaping dollops of beautifully expressive writing so be sure you have some time to really absorb the material. She helped me see Artemis in an entirely different way which, in my opinion, is one of the primary roles of a priest/ess: making the gods accessible and helping the common person (that’s me y’all!) feel a better connection with them.  You can read the first part of the series here.

So I’m sure I missed quite a few people but I spend too much time procrastinating  exploring the pagan/historical/anthropological blog realms and to share it all would get pretty dull.

Blessed Belated Saturnalia To All!

Reassesing Nova Roma

Recently, I had a wonderful conversation with Castus regarding; the priesthood and how it seems so many pagans are against it (While I feel the exact opposite is true. Too many pagans think they’re priest/esses), Roman theology and the lack of Religio resources when compared to Hellenismos, the role of the imperial cultus on the culture and politics of Rome, and finally the role Nova Roma plays in our modern society.

I was a member of Nova Roma for a little less than a year before leaving. It was nothing bad mind you. I didn’t have a falling out with anyone, but for all intents and purposes it appeared to be nothing more than a large role-playing group that took themselves way too seriously. Politics, scandal, side groups where consuls were mocked and orators’ names dragged through the mud, it all seemed very Roman, but not in the best way.

I will admit, albeit none to gladly, that I carried this notion with me for the time following. I respected Nova Roma’s dedication to strenuous education, the Latin language, and Republican virtues; but I felt there was some kind of disconnect between the members and their goal. Castus helped me see not only that I was sorely mistaken in regards to Nova Roma but also how such an organization can be necessary for many Reconstructionist communities, despite the grief they may gain from a sub-culture hell bent on not having any form of governing body.

Where Hellenists have many groups; Hellenion, Neos Alexandria, Kyklos Apollon, Hellenismos Mysticism, Nekoroi, etc to provide aid in the development of a standard religious practice, the Religio lacks this kind of support network and Nova Roma fills this role. The same statements one can make about this organization are much the same as can be made for any number of religious orders with such an obvious minority. There are bound to be big egos, high ambitions, and those who get by on donum alone.

Nova Roma, however, does offer something rare in the greater pagan community; the ability to exist despite the many differences in theological practice between its members. This creates an atmosphere where discussion, and even disagreement, isn’t met with ego-driven histrionics but the ability to eloquently state one’s case. Though Castus and I do not share similar values in some respects, we both hold the same ability to disagree and continue speaking as equals.

While Nova Roma may have some steps to take to fully embrace its role as a religious organization (I’m sure Castus can speak better on that than I) it appears to help nurture the inquisitive and knowledge hungry; while encouraging piety and wisdom. That may not mean much these days, but it’s certainly nice to see.

So there you have it folks. Not only was I wrong,  I was dead wrong. If you’re interested in learning about Religio-Romana, Nova Roma, or reading the thoughts of a devout cultor, go to a dedicated source.

Pagan Missionary Syndrome

So I figured, while I was making myself unpopular, I might as well go all the way and tackle something I’ve witnessed that really bothers me. Before I get into this, I will say that I do not think all cultural/religious practices are ‘right.’ I find some, like FGM, to be nothing short of heinous and barbaric. While I am glad to not live in a society where this is practiced I do hope that one day young women who face this kind of pressure are, eventually, relieved of it enough to make an educated decision when it comes to body modification rituals (Which I am not against).

But there comes a point where pagans become so high-minded, and full of ourselves, that we not only believe we practice an indigenous faith with more authentic reverence than the indigenous people who have practiced for thousands of years but that we can, somehow, enlighten them while being patronizingly disrespectful of their heritage and traditions and demanding they model themselves after our Western sensibilities.

The first time I encountered this was during a conversation with a young woman about cicatrization or ritual scarring. She not only railed against the practice as cruel (despite there being a few people in our diverse area she could have spoken to and from whom she could have learned the cultural or religious significance.) but she then went on to state that real pagans would never do such a thing since we believe in the law of “An it harm none.”

I’m going to leave the assumption that everyone follows the Wiccan Rede alone and focus on the core issue; this young woman believed her Western pagan worldview should apply to everyone who falls under the pagan umbrella. Whether they recognized themselves as pagan or not.

This included cultures, and people,  she had never bothered to speak to or with. To see an eclectic polytheist voice how they are more in tune to the wills of a Hindu god/dess than the adherents that have followed the purest version of the pantheons’ religion for thousands of years is not only snort worthy, but insulting to the people who have actively participated out of religious fervor and devotion for generations.

It seems when some pagans encounter someone who is a bit more conservative than they are, or who isn’t nature worshiping, or who believes that animals are sacred enough for sacrifice, or who participate in flagellation,  it’s no longer about acceptance or even tolerance.

That well meaning concern, that hipster/hippie mindset mixed with the residual fumes of movements that mainly excluded oppressed cultures (yes Feminism and Paganism I am looking at you) creates the same moldy, snotty, attitude that pushes many potentially great minds into the shadows; like the 14 year old I know who could probably give Epictetus a run for his money or the pagans, and occultists, I’ve come into contact with who have so much to offer but not enough honey for the flies hoping to stick them in a box.

I saw this the most in the response of a former classmate who explained why hijab made her feel safe and more respected here in the U.S. and I got to experience it myself when I wore it for a week. It wasn’t until I walked a few tiny steps in her shoes, asked some questions, and bared my own ignorance that I was able to learn from her. I had to look like a fool, like an ignorant American, but in the end I gained a better understanding of not only her culture, religious views, and even some of the logic behind it, but also learned that I enjoy a good bit of modesty myself.

But how far would I have gotten had I simply attempted to explain to her how she didn’t have to do that anymore because she’s in America? How enlightened would I look attempting to make an African woman understand how the beautiful facial scars she wears with pride are something to be ashamed of because I think they were inflicted inhumanely? And what difference would it make anyway? What would I have learned?

Better yet, what would I have missed out on learning?

All Work and No Play…

 

Lately I’ve had a strange form of writers block. The kind that makes you want to write everything except  what you’re actually supposed to be working on. In between work, studies, attempting to fit ritual and religion into my life, and good old fashioned exhaustion, things seemed to have ground to a bit of a halt.

Fortunately, I was able to get some writing done over at Daughters of Eve and am looking forward to seeing that tone change in print. When I first began writing for DoE, I was in an emotional state akin to wanting to kick someone’s teeth in. Since I was raised better than that, I pounded out my anger and frustration into blog posts. This form of expression acted as a healing balm to my soul, especially as through my writing, I’ve had the pleasure and privilege of getting to know some truly amazing pagans.

In the past month I’ve added about 15 blogs to my Google Reader (which is the best app ever. If you’re not using it get on board.) so a lot of wonderful reading has been filling my feeds/inbox.  This is a time of many celebrations and I can’t seem to keep up with them all. At some point I’m going to have to get Lykeia to help me work on a an IPad/IPhone app and calendar just so I don’t feel like such a religious slouch. If you want to see some priestly devotion consider heading over to her website. The link is right in her name.

One of the great things about December (besides the glee I get from bringing up the uncomfortable subject of Kwanzaa) are the bountiful holidays during this season. Department stores began preparing for Christmas the day after Halloween. All of the orange and black candy went on sale to make room for chocolates, shaped like trees, and wrapped in green tin foil.

You can smell this time of year in the air. It hangs in the smokey tendrils of burning wood and child-like anticipation. Despite what Fox News may think, there is no war on Christmas as much as there is a general shift from Christmas being wholly religious. This is a time of stuffing one’s face with delicious food, singing songs even though you can’t carry a tune in a bucket, and relying on yourself to create good cheer.

In other words, Christmas forces people to be  good company. Any holiday that does that gets my automatic thumbs up. The Dionysia is right around the corner and with that comes another time to offer up my praise and worship in more than just the rushed words before I hit the gym at sunrise.

Some take this time as a period of reflection, so maybe I’ll take a different approach this year and get ambitious and revved up during the winter months. While everyone else is sleeping and looking inward- I’ll be laying plans, getting dirt under my nails, and prepping for the new year. When spring comes around I can stand back a little bit and relax having never lost my groove during the cold.

This should be fun.

Where the Gods Aren’t, I Am

I kind of imagined a sad, bayou, song filled with redemption and strength when this post popped into my imagination this morning. I have a bunch of hi’falutin’ blog post stickies on my desktop; one involving my own take on miasma and another entitled “Gods and Riddim’” my thoughts on the role dance plays in African American culture and worship (for the Daughters of Eve).

I don’t think the gods care too much about my personal development. Maybe I’m saying that in a way that doesn’t convey what I really mean. I don’t think the gods throw obstacles or challenges in my way to “make me a better person.” I also don’t think they’re going to swoop in and save me from myself, or my requests, when something goes awry.

The best example I have for this belief was a set of life experiences that I walked into wholeheartedly, praying all the way, got bit in the butt and went limping back to point A having realized that maybe I need to stop putting myself in stupid situations.

My former long-term relationship went out with a quiet fizzle. I think we both knew it was time to end things about a year or two before hand, but we held on to each other out of comfort and fear. Single after four years, my self-esteem was shot and I was lonely. One night, as the full moon hung heavy in the summer sky- I beseeched, no begged, Hera for guidance in the matters of marital love.

Flash forward to the end of that summer and I met a young man who convinced me to move to another state to be with him. I, being an idiot, traipsed 500 miles from home intent on starting this new life of ‘perfection.’ I cooked, cleaned, kept house, and attempted to manage, then undiagnosed, manic depressive disorder. He couldn’t deal, lied often, and cheated; nursing various relationships online and with strippers in the area. By the time I found the photos of naked women on his phone I knew it was time to go.

The weekend that we broke up was the first time I prayed, exclusively, to Zeus. On the altar I built atop the mantle of our fireplace I lit a coal and offered honey and olive oil to him asking for something I never quite could put my finger on. Not a quick fix or protection from the pain, but perhaps the strength to endure it. By the time I came back to the Washington D.C. area I had no idea who I was, or where I was going, but I knew where I would never go again.

I don’t think Hera or Zeus had any role in these events, but I do think I was allowed to go down those roads because, as a mortal, screwing up, being broken, and getting back up again is a part of life. I remember, foolishly, thinking I had gotten what I wanted. I felt powerful, sure, confident, and cocky- only to be brought low by my own hubris.

I don’t think these experiences made me a better person, they just made me different; a little more jaded sure, but a hell of a lot more appreciative of the myths and morals my forefathers wrote down.

When I’ve made “deals” with Hermes, I’ve often gotten an M. Night Shayamalan like twist in the end. I think, towards me anyway, that’s his nature. I can make the best panspermia and offer the best sacra and, in the end, it’s never about me growing as a person, but my service to him and me taking a path that requires more wit than I currently have.

My own decisions, my own faults and failings, my bare mortality offered up like a filleted chicken breast. I believe I am expected to live as “righteously” as possible, but no one is going to hold my hand or carry me through. That’s not their job. If they choose to play a role that’s great…at times…but for the most part I’m on my own to become the best human I can be while maintaining piety at the same time.

As I course through what has been one of the most challenging and amazingly love-filled periods of my life, I don’t ask the gods for much. I leave offerings and sometimes my eyes water when I think of them; but my thanks to them doesn’t come from their constant interference in my life but their trust in me to not need them to interfere that much at all.

A Hymn to Dionysos

Sannion, over at The House of Vines, inspired me to post a hymn I composed a couple of years ago. This was before I realized my life would be in service to Dionysos.

Ah, let me dance for you thine coil coiffed maenad

To offer up most sacred flesh

Embracing smoke and silver tongued

Let me sing for you, like nymphs of glades that Pan has touched

And wander through the rocky hills

As wine and song meets torch and lyre

Pagan Accountability: Expect More

Many minority/alternative communities seem to have a code of ‘not airing the dirty laundry’ or ‘not snitching.’ In the early 2000′s the “Stop Snitching” campaign led to controversy as it promoted the notion of keeping silent for the sake of a community as opposed to exposing criminals that could cause harm. Truth be told, one can see a similar vein runs through the pagan community where; for the sake of solidarity or just getting media presence, a culture of silence is the order of the day.

Considering the growth of our community and the amount of money many of us are willing to put into providing enriching spaces for pagans of all stripes; it is important for us to take into the account the character and intentions of those seeking our dollars, time, or recommendations. When investigation only occurs in cases of abuse or theft, it leaves a broad scope of normally inexcusable behaviors open for which no one is held accountable.

 It took me a few days of thinking about whether I would write this post. Not wanting to stoke some kind of “witch war” (though technically I am not a witch) I had to balance the positives and negatives. The best thing I found was to write a post on critical thinking, especially when it comes to the behavior, and credentials, of individuals who are considered ‘community leaders’ or ‘pagan celebrities” seeking communal monetary sources.

 Investigating an Organization:

 If an organization is claiming to be “something for everyone” discover if it actually is. Speak with current and former attendees about what kind of culture is promoted in the organization. Does it claim to ‘welcome all pagans’ while only catering to the Wiccan or Eclectic community?

 Does it require that everyone follow a code of morality (instead of ethics) for membership?

Does it claim to seek wisdom while insuring that only certain wisdom, or even levels of knowledge, are allowed to remain as part of the group?

Any non-profit organization seeking donations should offer some form of prospectus or financial statement to show to potential and current donors. Ask the organization for this information and, if they balk, think twice before giving money to them or becoming involved.

Pay attention to the “leaders” or “secret chiefs” of the organization. How do they handle/present themselves? Do they have their lives together? What are their communication styles like? How are they about separating fact from fiction? In reality, if a person is willing to lie to you about easily proven material, what else would they be willing to do with things you cannot prove? For some, Robert Zink is a perfect example of leadership gone horribly wrong.

 Just as when volunteering with or donating to an organization, keep records of any paperwork, email correspondences or exchanges between yourself and leading figures of an organization. In my professional position, not only are volunteers encouraged to keep their volunteer registration forms for their records, but are provided hard copies of their schedules, a full orientation of procedures and expectations, and know what to expect not only from myself as the volunteer coordinator, but the organization as whole. All of this is expected by a corps of over 300 active and 700 total volunteers.

Ask for the credentials of the leadership. Can the organizer, or founder, point to any credible references besides groups they have direct participation in or control of? How does the leadership handle ‘negative press?’ Their reaction to concerns, or constructive criticism, may decipher how one may be treated should one voice any such notions.

 Remember: Character – How you treat those who can do nothing for you.

And finally, trust your gut. If something looks, or seems, off it probably is. Take time to really think about your motivations and what kind of company you would like to keep before becoming involved. When all else fails, find other ways to donate time and money in your greater community; through outreach, mentoring young women (young black girls need this especially) or providing pro-bono services out of love.

Our global community is shrinking every day and with that wonderful expanse comes great responsibility. We, as pagans, must hold our own organizations, representatives, and leaders accountable for their behavior and their practices. It is no different than we expect from politicians, our school teachers, and our peers.  A code of silence does nothing but leave a trail of people ripe to be duped, maligned, or ignorant.

Immortals: A Not So Review

I  hate reviews because they’re normally filled with people telling you either the plethora of ways something royally sucks ass or is amazing for obscure reasons you won’t understand. That will probably happen here too. What can you do right?

Granted I didn’t walk into Immortals thinking it was going to be a great movie. For the most part I’m a special effects junkie. You can have a movie starring 3 anuses doing a rendition of “Othello” and I’ll probably check it out provided there was a $3 million CGI budget. Ever seen anuses in 3-d? Don’t answer that.

I’m not going to give away too many spoilers because many probably haven’t, and won’t, see the movie. Any time I watch a flick involving Greek Mythology, I’m always looking for accuracy. As far as this action packed gore-fest goes I thought it was fantastic how the writers created scenarios that could have led up to the myths. You won’t notice this until the very end when your mind stops reeling from copious beheadings and skull crushings.

**Those Spoilers I Lied About**

The best example of this foreshadowing involves Theseus, the hero of the film, facing down Hyperion’s head man “The Beast.” This man is a behemoth who has fashioned a helmet in the form of a bull’s head out of barbed wire like material that he’s doused, heavily, with poison. The final battle between Theseus and The Best takes place in a religious labyrinth first mentioned in the beginning of the film. You see where this is going right?

When The Beast is defeated and the story is retold, the monstrous man becomes a monster of myth; with statues of our hero, fighting a gigantic half-bull-half man, being built to commemorate the “memory” of the event.

**End Spoilers**

Gratuitous, blood spurting violence is not complete without some form of a sex scene. I mean we come to expect it right? Unfortunately, like with 300  before it, Immortals’ sex scene is so stilted and unbelievable I laughed when it occurred.

Bear in mind, Theseus is played by Henry Cavill, the British hottie who also made an appearance in The Tudors. I’m sure many women would take of their clothes were they in a room tending to his wounds all night. Hell, I’m surprised my clothes didn’t come off in the theater. I should have been restraightening my brassiere when the lights came back on, but when a woman who has taken special vows drops drawers like she’s eaten bad curry, I get suspicious no matter whose six-pack abs she’s staring at. In the end, I found the scene wasn’t even necessary to the plot and it certainly didn’t make me swoon. Theseus’ swagger was a little mechanical. I didn’t know if he was getting the job done or attempting some kind of reverse heimlich maneurver.

Perhaps he needs a sex scene skills coach. I will gladly offer my services to him free of charge.

This movie probably won’t get any good reviews, but it’s fun and that’s what matters. For Hellenists it will cause some eye rolling and some definite “What the fuck?” moments, but if you like fast-paced action, reckless fantasy, somewhat decent story telling, special effects, and Lord of the Ringesque war scenes Immortals is a great way to spend the night.